Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
