stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
