Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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