The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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