C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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