Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
