I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
