Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
