Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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