went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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