I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
