Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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