so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
