im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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