i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
