Sponge bath it is.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize