so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
