saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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