i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
