This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
