So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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