dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
