so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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