On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
