Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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