She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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