I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
