what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize