By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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