Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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