You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
