That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
