South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
