im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
