I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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