dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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