Sober January is a disaster.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
