she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
