dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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