Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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