you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
