how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
