He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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