Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My cat gives me a boner
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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