the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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