i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
