How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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