Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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