It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
