That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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