It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
