I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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