OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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