OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
