He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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