I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
