nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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