Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
