Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
