So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
