It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
