were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
